


New Year’s Kiss

by CruelisnotMason



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Casual, Comforting, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Not Epilogue Compliant, Platonic Kissing, Season 8 Doesn't Exist, she says but is it really wink wonk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22284685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CruelisnotMason/pseuds/CruelisnotMason
Summary: The first time Keith kisses Shiro is on New Year’s Eve.
Relationships: Allura/Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Voltron Paladins, Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Shiro & Voltron Paladins
Comments: 50
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t uploaded anything in a while and that bugs me lol so I wanted to write something small and simple for in between. Lately writing hasn’t been hard exactly but doesn’t come to me as easily as before. That sucks! A little! Aaaaa
> 
> Thanks @[SheMalfoy13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheMalfoy13) for beta-ing both chapters! Loved your cute comments<3

The first time Keith kisses Shiro is on New Year’s Eve.

 _It’s not a big deal,_ he tells himself as they are surrounded by friends and family. It takes more than a simple kiss that is part tradition, part peer pressure in the worst (or best) way to make what they have uncomfortable. So when Shiro’s innocent gaze shifts to Keith within the last ten seconds of the old year, Keith simply shrugs. And that’s it.

Shiro smiles a second before their lips meet, and before they even kiss, they hug first. Somehow their hearts pressed together feels more intimate than the actual kiss, so Keith thinks nothing of it.

It’s the beginning of the end.

With the new year a whirlwind of uncertainty gets introduced to his life. Uncertainty about how things are going and about where they are headed to. Keith has no answer to any of it, but there’s reassurance in the cluelessness of his friends.

Keith wouldn’t go out of his way to ask for the Paladins’ plans himself but he’s lucky enough to witness the conversation between Pidge and Hunk who both question if they better stay with the Atlas, go back home or apply for a job at the Garrison.

“What’s your plan, Keith?” Hunk asks. Keith is surprised and instantly scolds himself for assuming the Paladin’s interest in him to be superficial politeness. Hunk of them all wouldn’t ask if he wasn’t genuinely interested. Pidge looks at Keith expectantly, too. She wouldn’t fake that, either.

“Stay with the Atlas,” Keith replies because whenever he wondered about what he should do with his life, it felt like the simplest answer was right there.

Hunk nods. “Figured that much.” 

Keith could only miss the snort Pidge emits if Shiro walked right in, drawing all of Keith’s attention to him. He gets the point and bites his lip.

“Ignore her,” Hunk quickly says and rolls his eyes at Pidge, “she’s searching for someone to fight with.”

“I’m not-“ Pidge starts, voice rough and surprised, as if Hunk saw right through her, too. Keith is thankful that the attention shifted away from him to them and quietly wonders if just going with the flow is the right direction.

He quickly realizes that it seems like the only possible direction for him.

Being away from Shiro hurts even in a physical way, and no late night texting can make up for that. Keith learned all the ways in which he can be witty and quick and make Shiro smile through his messages. Sometimes he’s too bold and then doesn’t write for another week, too embarrassed to face what he said last. But Shiro never mentions it, remains as the calm and steady person Keith only got to discover recently. He’s not distant but polite and sometimes Keith thinks it’s out of place for them, especially after all they’ve gone through.

Keith decides to stay on the Atlas. He is the only one who does. It’s a little surprising but out of all of them, Keith would have been the last to assume they’d stay together. They weren’t attached by the hip before. It would be wondrous if they were now. Nonetheless, Shiro creates a group chat for them all and is the first of them to send daily pictures. None of them are of much interest in general, but of interest for them. There aren’t always replies, but Keith assumes - maybe hopes - that the Paladins equally like getting pieces of each other’s life once in a while, and with it a feeling of still belonging to a whole that never seemed to fit in the past, but now slowly clicks into place.

There’s only two gears that seem to miss each other. Keith wonders what changed. They’ve always worked in the past. Even when realization daunted upon Keith that something he took for a friendship was still a feeble mentor-mentee relationship, it worked out, all by itself. Or maybe because Shiro saw him as someone he could trust in. Someone who would never leave him. Maybe Shiro needed that sort of security, too. Keith, after all, needed that first.

“I won’t leave,” Keith says. He’s proud his voice doesn’t break or that it doesn’t sound too strange. Shiro looks up from a book he’s been reading in the common room where they’ve been hanging out lately in their free time.

Shiro eyes him for a moment. It’s awkward - they’re sitting comfortably close, but the angle makes it too intimate. Shiro takes his reading glasses off for a moment and Keith assumes he also doesn’t know what to say.

“I know,” Shiro says after a while. He’s still holding his gaze, then puts the book away. “You are free to go,” he adds, “I hope you know you don’t have to st-“

“I know,” Keith interrupts. He holds Shiro’s gaze for a moment, but he’s not that strong and casts his eyes down. “I want to be here.” He sounds a little stubborn.

Shiro hesitates. He’s doing that a lot. As if he’s thinking twice before every word he says. As if Keith is someone he needs to be cautious around. Keith accepts it as another side of Shiro, something he’s working out, probably.

Suddenly, Shiro shifts and leans forward. From intuition and muscle memory, Keith knows what’s coming and leans into Shiro’s space too. He’s holding his breath when Shiro slings an arm around him, needing to relearn how to navigate his feelings around Shiro when they are close but something entirely different than what Keith wants them to be. He closes his eyes quickly to not give too much away. Shiro holds tight onto him before he lets out a shuddered breath. “Thanks.”

The feeling of Shiro’s breath against his ear and neck does things to Keith that makes it impossible to keep his thoughts within a reasonable platonic mindset, but he bravely endures, just closes his eyes and at some point even calms his heart.

“Not needed, Shiro,” Keith finally says. I’ll never give up on you, he doesn’t add. Shiro should know already. He probably does.

Shiro nods against Keith’s neck, sending a shiver over his body and sets off prickly goosebumps all over his arms. Something shifts as Shiro pulls back and they stay within reach of each other, a little closer than they’ve ever been. Keith turns his head a little to look at him but the angle makes it hard to get a good glimpse at Shiro’s eyes, so he stays where he is.

The casual brush of lips that follows could be what one calls an accident, when it isn’t. Keith thinks he must look as surprised as Shiro does, but then again, not surprised at all. Shiro kisses him again. Soft. Not deep. Not overwhelmingly at all, and it seems as if only just to test it once more. Keith returns the kiss.

When they break apart shortly after, Keith doesn’t feel relief. He feels more shivers, more anticipation throughout his body.

“Thanks,” Shiro says again. Then Keith turns away to take his datapad back into his hand and Shiro likewise takes his book back into his lap. They don’t talk about it for the rest of the evening and sit there until they both decide it’s time for bed. Back in his room, a whirlwind unleashes behind Keith’s rib cage and mind and makes it impossible for him to think a sober thought before he goes to bed exhausted that night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith could kiss Shiro all the time. There’s no issue in that, as long as Shiro wants to keep kissing him, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this chapter would go in another direction, which was why I rated it M lol. Turns out this chapter stays pretty vanilla, too.
> 
> Thanks @[SheMalfoy13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheMalfoy13) for beta-ing both chapters! Loved your cute comments<3

Kissing becomes a similar thing to washing hands or drinking water. It’s always there, between them, traded for the hug they’d usually exchange. In Keith’s eyes it simply extends their already existing friendship. 

It‘s May when the Paladins visit the Atlas again. They arrive with a self-invitation sent two weeks prior to the day they show up, carrying boxes of Earth snacks and games, a few bags with clothes and Pidge‘s happily yapping dog Beibei on board.

Keith greets them down in the hangars where the Paladins docked their ship, smiling at Hunk first and opening his arms for a well-trained hug as soon as he approaches. He hugs Pidge too, then, when she moves on, eyes Lance and hesitates for a few seconds until the Blue Paladin opens his arms first, laughs and emits a stretched “Aw, come on!“ when he pulls Keith closer.

He lets it happen, feels the slim arms around him and the strong, minty breath and returns the hug that feels all too foreign and not them, but nice nonetheless.

“Aw,“ Pidge teases and elbows Hunk as they look back at them both. “Looks like you‘re not special anymore,“ she tells him. “Keith is a hugger now.“

“That‘s not true,“ Hunk hurries to say, eyebrows a little pinched. “I‘m still your best boy, right?“

“I‘m not answering that,“ Keith says with a scowl. But they know him well by now, too good to be offended or take him  _ too _ seriously. They all share a laugh and move onto the Paladins’ rooms, readymade for their arrival.

“How come our welcoming committee is you?“ Pidge asks on the way. “Where‘s the big one?“

“Kosmo?“ Keith asks in all earnesty and earns himself a laugh. 

“Shiro,“ Pidge corrects him. Keith frowns. 

“Should be up in the control room.“

“Workaholic.“ Hunk rolls his eyes and looks to Lance. “What do you think about surprising him right there?“

“Allura did that already,“ Keith says. They find Pidge’s room first and enter. Beibei jumps up and down around them as Pidge roams around in her box to separate the snacks she bought for their visit from the ones she bought for herself. “I thought she wanted to come tomorrow,“ Pidge perks up from her box, visibly happy about the news. 

Keith shrugs. “She couldn’t wait and got here an hour before you.“

“Let‘s go find them, then.“ Hunk pulls Pidge by her sleeve to get her away from her snacks and out of the room. Keith goes too, with Lance following them.

  
  


There‘s an emergency call, which is why they first have time to talk in the afternoon, meeting for a late lunch. Hunk refrains from going directly into the kitchen, deeming the food as passable and only taking a few extra spices out of a pouch to season it and then pass them around to the others at the table. He earns himself an eye roll from Pidge but an appreciating nod from Allura.

Keith feels content to see them all living and thriving, all having their different lives. In the back of his mind he‘s acutely aware of the difference in their friendship with each other, too. Pidge sits next to Allura, smiling while talking to her, while Lance sits between Hunk and Shiro, sharing a more serious conversation with the latter. Hunk smiles at Keith in between bites and shares the comfortable silence with him. Keith can barely remember how unbearable it was to live with everyone together on the Castle of Lions before, when tensions were high and they hadn‘t had room to breathe or the chance to ever miss each other. Now it feels different and he welcomes it.

He notices late the look Shiro gives him, something proud and calm in his eyes. When Keith notices it, he shyly smiles back, drops his gaze at the platter of food in front of him and shoves another spoonful into his mouth. 

“Did Pidge tell you she has a new job?“ Allura asks them out of the sudden, breaking out of her conversation with Pidge just now. She looks into their faces, while she has one hand on Pidge‘s shoulder, who has red over her whole face. Hunk snorts, Lance raises an eyebrow.

“Wow,“ Shiro is the first to speak up among the ‘Congratulations, Pidge‘ everyone throws her. “What does Sam say to that?“

Pidge sinks a little into herself. “He doesn‘t know yet?“

“Oh no,“ Hunk laughs and holds a hand in front of his face. 

“What kind of job? Nothing with crazy robot lion fights, right?“ Lance asks.

Pidge‘s smile freezes and she looks to the side. “Uh. Nothing too special. I‘m the IT-Gal for the Andromeda belt.“

Lance turns to her, fork in the air, in a pointed motion. “What does that even mean?“

“Lots of ‘Have you tried turning it on and off again‘ but with aliens, I‘d imagine,“ Hunk chuckles amused. Keith cracks a soft grin, too. 

Pidge only grimaces and rolls his eyes at Hunk. “Barely. But yeah, a lot of phone service,“ she answers after a second. “Now that I think about it, we  _ do _ have the occasional ‘Have you tried turning it on and off again‘-caller.“

Hunk fist pumps the air and calls “I knew it!“ The rest of them laugh. Pidge waves her hands. “Enough about me. Or about the Paladins. You two have been radio silent. What‘s happening around here?“

Without warning, everyone’s head turns to Keith and Shiro. Keith freezes on the spot, the carefree smile wiped from his face. He subtly looks over to Shiro, whose mouth has slightly opened with no words coming out either. Keith only can imagine how they both look like deers frozen in place when the front lights of a car shine upon them in the middle of the night. 

“Nothing,“ Keith answers for them both. “Nothing at all.“

The Paladins keep looking. Lance squints at him and raises an eyebrow before he comments “ _ Suspicious _ .“

“That’s how it is,“ Shiro helps quickly. Keith notices him pointedly not looking back at Keith. 

Even though that seems to only weave the web of suspicion further, the Paladins shrug it off. They talk about Pidge‘s new job or that Lance hangs around at his parent‘s, that Hunk worked at his family‘s local food stall for a few weeks until he went back to the Garrison, and that Allura has currently no goal but finding her own peace with helping the Alteans from the colony that haven‘t found a home yet to find a place to stay. Keith relaxes through the feeling of safety with his friends,  _ his family  _ being there, loves leaning back with them at this moment when the situation with Shiro alone has become something else entirely lately.

Keith wouldn‘t say that something’s changed, but something has  _ definitely _ changed. It‘s obvious even giving him - what he assumes - is an unneeded inner conflict to the point that he almost follows Hunk to catch him alone and talk about his current issues. He might. If it weren‘t so damn embarrassing.

There's enough distraction with the Paladins around to not think about Shiro and in the evening, they go for a surf together on nearby galaxy waves, using their space suits, long security lines and cheap boards that Hunk brought with him for everyone. The moment Keith had mentioned the nearby deep space waves to him, Hunk had organized them for their visit and announced that they‘d surf the waves together.

As everyone readies themselves, Pidge watches from the side lines first. Shiro is the first one to float to the area where the waves gently roll, one of the boards under his arm. Keith follows, skeptical but thrilled, jumping on the board as soon as it changes from floating to rapidly moving on the spot. Hunk trips over his feet before getting on the board, but instead of panicking, he simply rolls off and tries again. Allura joines Pidge shortly, watching from the side. She starts snapping pictures through their suit cams, laughing as the others goof around.

After a while Allura successfully convinces Pidge to try it out too, holds her hands while levitating next to her in space. Pidge quickly finds a strong stand on the board, but Allura keeps holding on. As he comes closer from behind, Shiro kicks Lance off his board and feigns ignorance when Lance loudly calls him a cheap cheat. The whole situation makes Keith laugh loudly, feeling free and comfortable, and oh so different from during the war. Things have changed for the better, he notices quietly for himself and jumps off the board. Shiro follows him but trips, and Keith grabs for him before there‘s a chance for Shiro to float too far. 

“Thanks,“ Shiro smiles at Keith through the glass of his space helmet. Keith smiles back and hopes Shiro can see how content he feels. 

Through the hangars they get back to the Atlas, stepping out of the space suits and into comfortable clothes. Lance simply leaves his undersuit on. 

Keith glances to Shiro who‘s still undressing with his back turned to him and looks away again. When they are all done, they go back to the upper quarters together, laughing and talking about the galaxy wave surfing just now. Shiro looks as happy among them as Keith feels, eyes sparkling when he talks to Pidge, Allura or Hunk or when he teases Lance, gaze more often than not finding Keith.

Keith wants to kiss him. What‘s even worse; he could.

New Year‘s Eve had pulled several pre-existing walls down that Keith didn’t even know existed. Since then, things have changed. 

Shiro returns the steady gaze Keith has been giving him for a while now, face tinted. There‘s laughter bubbling to the surface about the face that Lance makes or the jokes Pidge whispers to him. But when his eyes are on Keith, Shiro smiles a little softer, with a little more emotion. 

The Paladins pass them to walk to Pidge‘s room again, their loud chatter slowly fading as Keith slows down his steps so he can catch up with Shiro. 

“That was fun,“ Shiro remarks, hand suddenly reaching to his neck, touching the short white hair there. Keith‘s eyes follow the movement until the hand stills and Keith has to look back to Shiro‘s face.

“Yeah,“ he admits as much and smiles back. 

“It‘s different, too.“ 

Shiro doesn‘t specify that he‘s talking about Keith‘s relationship to them. Maybe he addresses his own relationship just as much. The Paladins are his friends. Maybe he wondered if after the war there‘s a possibility of that changing, too. Keith nods. 

“I‘m proud of you,“ Shiro states. It‘s nothing new, an old phrase that never lost its meaning. But it‘s different now. Shiro looks shy.

“Why?“ Keith automatically questions it. Shiro shrugs. 

“Because you get along with them. You let them be them and they let you be you. It‘s good to see.“

The way Shiro says it makes it clear that he means it. But Keith feels like there‘s something else.

“You‘re a part of this too,“ Keith relents directly, as if he‘s not listening. But it‘s quite the opposite, Keith hears him loud and clear. “Don‘t take yourself out of that equation. You always belonged, Black Lion pilot or not.“

Shiro‘s reaction is instant; his eyes are shiny, and his lips curve into another smile. “You‘re right. Thanks, Keith.“

“And we belong,“ Keith says, voice raspy. “We‘ve known each other before we knew them. I liked you all on your own before we had to win a war.“ 

Maybe it‘s too much. But Shiro should be used to Keith‘s direct, emotional, vulnerable side too. It always shows with him.

“Yeah.“ Shiro smiles wider and Keith is too mesmerized by it to notice the stutter in his breath when he exhales. “We belong.“

Keith reaches up to brush a little strand from Shiro‘s bangs back. He‘s almost expecting it when Shiro leans his cheek against his hand and closes his eyes. The casual intimacy doesn‘t catch Keith off-guard, and neither does the blooming feeling in his chest. He tips up and gives him a short kiss, nothing too lingering. 

“Guys, where are you?“ Hunk calls back. The Paladins are too far away to be in sight. 

Shiro opens his eyes again, Keith retreats his hand. The smile they share is comforting but the feeling dissolves quickly when Shiro bumps Keith‘s shoulder. “Let‘s not let them wait,“ Shiro says and together they slowly follow the others, talking about the possibility to galaxy-surf again someday.

With the arrival of the Paladins, some slow days are introduced. Work on the Atlas wasn‘t a lot and Keith only left for a Blade mission once, only to be greeted by Shiro in the hangars who didn’t have work to do either. Keith greets him with a short kiss and a smile and asks him where the others are.

“Eating snacks in Pidge‘s room. We introduced Allura to ‘Farmlife 3‘ and realized she‘s a sore loser.“

“What is there to lose in ‘Farmlife 3‘?“ Keith asks, raising an eyebrow in amusement. 

“Kalteneckers.“ Shiro says it with an adorable grin and sighs before he continues, sounding a little worn. “Lots of them apparently, if you don‘t milk them right.“ Shiro slings an arm around him as they walk upstairs and takes it away when they enter the room. Keith feels the touch linger.

“I think we completely broke her,“ Pidge says at some point, eyes fixed on the screen where ten virtual cows named Kaltenecker74 to Kaltenecker84 lie immovable on the grass. Keith is tucked against Shiro‘s side with a bag of tomato-flavored chips that Pidge pushed into his hands right when he walked into the room. He glances to Allura who lies on the ground, controller in a death grip in her hand. “She‘s been hogging the console since before we came here together,“ Shiro whispers into Keith‘s ear. It’s so private, so intimate. It does things to Keith. He shudders softly before nodding and chuckling. 

“That‘s enough,“ Pidge decides then and pulls the controller - not without a small fight - out of Allura‘s hands before tossing it to Hunk who promptly throws a new disc into the gaming console to start a new game. Lance helps Pidge prop Allura up against the wall. She catches herself again when Pidge hand-feeds her a small bag of potato chips and sits down next to her, other hand softly squeezing her shoulder.

“Just so you guys know, don‘t have too much fun the next few days. I‘m gonna need to catch a gUber to get back to the fam. Apparently they ran into some problems with a few space bugs that got smuggled to Earth,” Lance says.

“I didn‘t know they had a gUber in this quadrant.“ Hunk gets up to hand Lance the second controller. Lance just shrugs. “Newly opened for business. I‘ll better use it before they go out of business again.“

The starting screen appears and Hunk chooses multiplayer.

“Anyways,“ Lance says. “Before I go I need to have a chat with you,  _ amigo _ .“

Lance addresses no one in particular, eyes fixed on the screen. “Who?“ Shiro asks then and earns an eye roll from him. “How am I supposed to know?“ Shiro laughs and holds up his hands. Lance wordlessly turns his head back to the screen, moving his little figure over the grass. Keith doesn‘t know what game they are playing now, but it all looks a little like ‘Farmlife3‘ to him. 

When Lance leaves, the others are packing up, too. They all have places to be, friends or family that wait at home, and with one person leaving, they all mutually concluded that it‘s time to go too. With an overwhelming group hug, the Paladins are sent off and it‘s just a regular weekday again on the Atlas. There are plenty of other people, but Keith feels the loneliness awaiting him at every corner.

Shiro turns to him, shoulders a little tense. “Well, I think I‘m going back up to the control room.“

Keith nods and moves a step closer, half expecting a kiss or at least a hug before they part. Shiro looks down, but not into his eyes. “Alright,” Shiro says and steps out of Keith‘s space without warning. “See you later.“

It keeps happening.

Something that Keith deemed as status quo for their friendship changed without Keith getting the memo, as if someone talked it all through on a meeting he wasn‘t invited to. Suddenly Shiro keeps to himself and the thing that kept Keith near the border of insanity but off it equally suddenly got pulled away like a rug under his feet. 

Something happened and Shiro didn’t tell him what.

One thing Keith learnt about deep space emergencies back at the Garrison was that when you wanted to panic, your best shot was not to panic. So Keith doesn‘t. 

In line with the Garrison panic lesson, he reassesses the situation first and thinks about his options. One option is to watch Shiro first and see if he’s troubled by anything, which could in turn explain his change in behavior. Maybe he‘s been tired lately. It would be too weird to straight up ask him, Keith concludes.

It leads to nothing. 

Keith quickly finds out that Shiro seems painfully normal whenever he sees him. Shiro goes about his day like Keith does, eats, works out or goes to sleep like he always did, but all with a tad of distance sprinkled between them. Even the noncommittal shoulder touch is a no-go all of a sudden. 

Keith quickly becomes hyper aware of everything Shiro does – or doesn‘t, if he‘s being real – and stops the casual touches from his side, too. For the sake of them resolving to a status quo, Keith does whatever he can; for them to be normal again and friends, he‘ll go through fire.

Shiro looks a little like a kicked puppy when Keith tells him he‘ll eat lunch with James the next day. Keith is taken aback by the way Shiro looks at him – surprised, then accepting – and nods. Keith eats with James and doesn‘t hate it, but he doesn‘t get the inside jokes between the MFE fighters and only joins the conversation when it revolves around a new fleet the Garrison ordered back home. It doesn’t come easy for Keith to talk to them unless it’s about speed and good acceleration and how every ship is a good ship as soon as you know how to fly it. The MFE fighters take his words seriously and nod along to his explanations. They also crack jokes and mock him in good fun. It feels nice but Keith suddenly misses the Paladins – his former mutually beneficial relationship with them – who accepted him saying something and more often nothing at all. 

  
  


Shiro keeps pulling himself out of conversations and casual touches. It hurts enough for Keith to consider talking to someone about it.

“Have you tried turning it on and off again?“ Pidge replies the moment she picks up the call. Usually, she‘s not his first option but Hunk is out of reach and she‘s – aside from Allura – the only one he knows who‘s currently in space.

“Hey,“ Keith greets and hesitates.

“Keith?“ Her voice sounds surprised. Keith doesn‘t judge her, he knows he‘s not one to call out of the blue. “Is there a problem?“ Her voice is uncertain and a little alarmed. She must think something’s happened.

“Uh. No. Sorry,“ Keith hurries to say. They both stay quiet on the phone until Pidge enables the camera and becomes visible over the screen. She blinks at Keith slowly. 

“Do you have an issue with some tech? I‘m sure Slav could help. Like, in case he‘s still on the Atlas and Shiro‘s still putting up with hi–“

“Slav is fine,“ Keith quickly reassures her, then fumbles with his fingers, outside of the frame. 

“Keith–“

“Okay fine. There‘s this thing, uhh...like. Me and Shiro, uh–“

Two bright green eyes watch him as he stutters through something that doesn‘t come even close to an explanation. As soon as he mentions Shiro, Pidge squints and leans back in her chair. All around her are stacks of paper and a few coffee mugs. She reaches for one and takes a sip, before saying with the biggest shit-eating grin, “Uh-huh. Go on.“

Keith hesitates for a second, but then admits defeat. “He‘s acting weird.“

“Why do you think I can help with that?“ Pidge asks immediately. 

“I don‘t know. You weren‘t the first choice–“

Pidge pulls a grimace and takes another sip. “Okay, was nice chatting with you, bye Ke–“

“Sorry! Sorry.“ Keith panics. Pidge – that little ass – grins and leans back again. “He‘s distant.“

“Doesn‘t sound like something new per se,“ Pidge comments and shrugs. “Sometimes, he just gets private and thoughtful.“

“It‘s different this time.“ Keith still wonders why he‘s talking to Pidge about it, but as it turns out, she‘s passably at listening. It‘s only him who‘s embarrassed.

“How so,“ Pidge asks, playing the game of ask and response with him. Keith thinks about ending the call again, but stays persistent. 

“We‘ve been, uh. Physical,“ he starts, looking away from the screen. “And suddenly we‘re not.“ 

Pidge stares for a moment. “Physical,“ she repeats.

“Yeah, just. Imagine if you and a female friend, uh,“ Keith struggles to say it out loud. “Kissed, but you‘re friends. Suddenly you don‘t. Wouldn‘t that be weird?“

Pidge‘s jaw goes slack, and she‘s now openly staring at Keith in disbelief. Keith doesn‘t dare to look her in the eye.

“Kissing as friends,“ she repeats. “Like. On the mouth?“

Keith grunts. Then sinks into himself. “Possibly.“

“Keith!“ she exclaims. “It would be so damn weird to kiss in the first place! Imagine it were me and Allura kissing, do you really think that‘s what you do when you‘re friends? What I‘d be doing?“

She‘s got a point. Keith admits as much. But it‘s just Shiro, who never said something about it and then stopped. If he wanted it to mean something more, he’d probably said something by now. Right? 

Keith feels his stomach revolt. Maybe that‘s it. Maybe Shiro realized that even if it was a possibility, in the end he didn‘t want to be together with Keith.

“You‘re right.“ Keith bites his lip and takes a steadying breath. “Sorry to bother you, Pidge.“ He thanks her and ends the call. 

The screen turns dark and leaves Keith in his own dark room with no light source, sitting, thinking, brooding about a way how he can at least repair what‘s left of their friendship.

There is only one way to get back to where they were and that he has to do everything to make their friendship work. Keith needs to show Shiro, that it’s alright that they are just friends. That Shiro can keep touching him and doesn’t have to worry about Keith expecting something else.

He can‘t wait to put the theory into practice to show Shiro how much it‘s alright that they‘re nothing more than friends. He has seen this in one of the few movies he has watched in his life, but more importantly, has seen it when Shiro talks to others. 

When it‘s lunch time and suddenly Shiro stands opposite of him, Keith punches his shoulder hard – not realizing the strength behind it – as he greets him. Shiro rubs his arm surprised and stares back at Keith.

“How are you?“ Keith croaks. Shiro looks to the spot he rubs on his own shoulder before he glances back to Keith. 

“I‘m alright,“ Shiro says and steps closer. Too close for Keith‘s liking, if they want to stay friends. “Bro,” he adds in a sad attempt to make it work.

It‘s too much, Keith realizes in an instant when Shiro‘s brows rise up high above his eyes. He watches as Shiro quietly repeats the word after him. He then furrows his brows and tilts his head. “Are you okay, Keith?“

No, Keith wants to say, but instead just stares up into Shiro‘s beautiful, worried face. He doesn‘t want him to ever look like that. He doesn‘t ever want to be the reason why Shiro worries. At the same time, he just wants to pull Shiro‘s face close and press his lips against his. So, that‘s conflicting.

Keith is sure that if he answers now, it will be obvious how much he’s struggling, but there’s no other option. As Keith grinds his gears to say something cohesive, Shiro waits for him.

“I’m, uh,” Keith says, helplessly and looks at Shiro’s big grey eyes. Shiro ducks down unexpectedly, his mouth now next to Keith’s ear. Everyone must see how Keith takes on red color when he’s close and shuts his eyes.

“What is it?” Shiro asks, supportive as always. “Do you need to talk in private?”

“I’m, uh. No.” Talking to Shiro in private would put the pressure on. Otherwise, if Keith doesn’t come clean, doesn’t explain that there’s nothing Shiro needs to worry about, their friendship might be on line. “Yes. I mean, yes.”

Shiro looks at him curiously, then smiles softly. “Want to watch a movie and talk after work? We haven’t done that in a long time.”

He doesn’t want to agree instantly but yes, holding Keith at an arm's length leads to that. “Tomorrow?” Keith asks breathless. 

Shiro smiles for an answer, hesitates, then touches Keith’s shoulder. It feels electric. 

“Tomorrow,” he says.

  
  


There’s a movie collection of remade terrarian classics. Keith never heard of the remakes but also not of the original movies. It’s not like he had many movies just lying around as a kid. But Shiro seems giddy and excited to show them to him so there’s not a lot left but simply agreeing to it.

Keith makes himself comfortable on the couch, pops one of the sodas he brought to the movie night open. When Shiro sits down next to him, with a soda in his Altean hand and the remote in the other, the couch suddenly feels unimaginably long and short at the same time. Shiro wears a white dress shirt and smells amazing. Keith both wants to throw himself on him and roll himself off the couch. Realization dawns him before he can do either of both.

“I don’t know how the planet Eldori got their hands on the movies from home, but apparently they just remade this one without paying a fee. Almost all copies got deleted since they couldn’t pay the fine as soon as they got found out.”

“But you have one,” Keith says and looks up at Shiro, who’s smile is bashful.

“Yeah. It’s one of my favorites. There’s no way I’m giving up my copy.”

Keith raises an eyebrow in response but stays quiet. The movie slowly starts with a beautiful autumn scene, accompanied by some jazzy music.

The movie is interesting, as far as Keith can tell. He’s too focused on the way Shiro breathes, shifts or laughs to really get what’s happening in the movie. He wants to lean over and just give him a kiss on his lips. Pidge was right, it  _ is _ weird. But worse is, Shiro just never talked about it, accepted Keith kissing him just as another reality of life.

“Oh god, I almost forgot this scene,” Shiro mumbles and holds his breath. There’s three not nearly terrarian looking aliens that shout at each other in the scene. For Shiro it might make sense what’s happening, but for Keith it feels like a reflection of his last three brain cells arguing about what he should do.

“Do you like the movie?” Shiro asks in between, sounding concerned. No wonder he is, Keith must have sat still for the whole time and never once reacted. “It’s good,” he lies, even though realistically, he can’t really say. The only thought that crosses his mind is that Shiro looking like a forbidden fruit in his dress shirt should be illegal and is the only reason why Keith feels so corrupted. It’s as if the whirlwind in his heart that he eagerly fought down months earlier is back with fieriness, and this time it came with the intention of staying.

_ I like him,  _ Keith’s brain complies helplessly.  _ We’ve been kissing all the time and I liked him through all of it. _

Keith’s seldomly really brave and often thinks it’s his impulsiveness that gets him where he should be. Just like now, too. He reaches for Shiro’s hand before he thinks about it.

His palm stays on top of Shiro’s hand, getting sweatier with every second. Shiro stills next to him and doesn’t move. Keith almost pulls back but then Shiro intertwines their fingers. Shiro’s eyes stay on the screen, he stays suspiciously quiet for the rest of the movie, face wearing a conflicting expression.

They stay like that for the rest of the evening, Keith’s thumb occasionally rubbing over Shiro’s hand. He never pulls back, and neither does Shiro. 

When the movie ends, so does Keith’s happy bubble. 

“That was fun,” Shiro comments briefly. Keith nods and doesn’t answer because the end of the movie means he needs to go back to his own room and can’t continue holding Shiro’s hand. Something in Keith’s gut drops.

“So,” Shiro starts carefully, never pulling his hand away. “Good Night, then?” Shiro’s never so quick to throw Keith out, usually just invites Keith to stay for another drink and talk. They didn’t really talk, even though that was the reason they wanted to spend time together from the start.

“Can I stay here?”

It’s out before Keith can stop it. He looks to the side and sees Shiro blinking back. His face is unreadable aside from a little frown and he takes his time to answer, which makes Keith’s heart sink even more. When Shiro turns away and gets up, Keith already mourns the loss of touch. He watches Shiro take a few steps and search into one of his drawers to get another pillow. “Do you need clothes to change into, too?” Shiro asks, voice surprisingly stable for how hesitant he’s being. 

They get ready for bed quickly and Keith knows he should feel guilty but doesn’t at all. He gets into bed right next to Shiro and moves even closer, searching for that comforting warmth. It takes a second for Shiro to open his arms and let him cross the last bit of space between them, eyes guarded in a way they weren’t before.

Keith closes his eyes slowly, feeling the heat of their bodies mingle and the arms around his body even better now. Their faces are close,but kissing would lose its ease if done in bed, so they don’t. Keith listens to Shiro’s stuttered breathing until he falls asleep and doesn’t wake until morning. Comfortable dreams lull him in, and then he doesn’t dream at all.

The bed is still warm when Keith opens his eyes. 

The only light source in the bedroom comes from the phone on the nightstand and with a short glance, he realizes it‘s his. He must have rolled into the middle of the bed as soon as Shiro was gone, so he crawls back to the side to look at the screen. It‘s past nine, and there are three unread messages from Pidge. 

‘ _If there‘s something you want to talk about, you can always call me.‘_

_ ‘You can talk to Shiro, too‘ _

_ ‘I updated your datapad security system. I could easily breach the security while we were talking on the phone. Be more cautious with the technology you use.‘ _

Keith groans and rolls to the other side again, not answering any of the messages for now. Pidge is right. He  _ can _ talk to Shiro. There‘s just something in him that stops him every time the opportunity presents itself. He‘s brave enough to pilot a robeast, brave enough to fight Sendak and Honerva. He‘s brave enough to kiss him on New Year‘s Eve and every other time. Actions just always came easier to him than words.

But it‘s Shiro. Keith always knew he could talk to him.

“Hey.“ 

Keith startles for a second. He did not expect Shiro to still be here, and yet, there he stands, holding a plate and a cup of hot tea in his hand. He puts the cup on the nightstand and hands the plate Keith. When Keith shakes his head, Shiro puts the plate on the nightstand, too.

Shiro then sits down next to him in bed and crawls under the warm blankets. With a sigh, he leans back against the wall, then pushes a button that turns on the artificial light system. The room gets brighter immediately. 

“Talk?“ Keith asks and it‘s the bravest he has been in a while.

Shiro throws him a surprised look and nods. “What‘s on your mind?“ he asks.

Keith has trouble speaking and takes Shiro‘s hand first. Thankfully, Shiro just lets him, even squeezes Keith‘s sweaty palm. So far, so good.

“Was it weird to you?“ he asks Shiro, pauses, then clarifies. “Us?“

Shiro lets out a breath and looks to him, gently, comforting. “Not at all.“

“You pulled back,“ Keith states.

Shiro rubs one hand over his face slowly. He‘s visibly tired. “Yes.“ He bites his lower lip. “I thought you just went with it. Lance asked about it, too. I thought it wasn‘t fair to not make my intentions clear.“

Keith swallows. There‘s a shiver of hope. “I didn‘t either,“ he says, heart pounding. “Do you know what my intentions are?“

“Not at all,“ Shiro says, the hint of a laugh in his words. Keith thinks it‘s ridiculous. He‘s been practically throwing himself at Shiro for the last few months. “I liked you being close.“ That's all he says.

“So did I.“ Keith squeezes his hand. When Shiro looks at him, Keith‘s mind is running circles. “I wanted to kiss you.“

“Oh yeah,“ Shiro agrees, nodding. “Me too.“ He smiles.

“I like you.“

“Yeah,“ Shiro squeezes Keith‘s hand, shifts closer. “Me, too.“

“I really,“ Keith starts, staring at Shiro‘s eyes that are suddenly so close and wide, so beautiful and deep, “really, like you, Shiro.“

Shiro looks at him for a few seconds, so truthfully and honest, and full of emotion. “Me too. I love you, Keith.“

Keith lets out a punched out breath. He pulls Shiro down by his neck to press a kiss to his mouth. It‘s not one like those little kisses he gave him before, the quick pecks in between missions or their days. He deepens the kiss, tugging Shiro closer and over him. Shiro willingly goes, deepens the kiss, bites playfully into Keith‘s bottom lip before they both open their mouths, eager to taste each other‘s mouths.

When they break the kiss, riled up and panting, the look they share is surprised but content nonetheless. 

“I love you,“ Keith tests it again, eyebrows furrowed. Shiro smiles. “I want a date with you.“ Shiro smiles even wider.

“Yeah, that would be great. But first,“ he leans down and kisses Keith again. 

  
  


The Paladins come visit again on New Year‘s Eve. 

Shiro holds Keith‘s hand proudly no matter what they do and only stops when Allura challenges him to ‘Farmlife3 - Multiplayer‘. Keith sits between his legs most of it, distracting Shiro enough to make Allura win easily this time. She smiles bright and laughs when the end screen appears and looks back to Pidge, Hunk and Lance who applaud her, grinning. 

They can‘t go out and ride galaxy waves since they decided to go visit Pidge on Beta Kenta for this year‘s new year celebration and there are no galaxy waves found on her planet whatsoever. 

Right before the countdown, Shiro pulls Keith close. “Be my New Year‘s Kiss?“ he asks with a smile. Keith smiles back and doesn‘t answer, but when the New Year arrives, he throws his arms around his boyfriend and kisses him for what feels like forever. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to recommend this fic to others, feel free to link or retweet this [Tweet](https://twitter.com/CruelisB/status/1218123355943002112?s=19)!  
> This story is part of the LLF Comment Project, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author appreciates comments including:
> 
> * Short comments
>   
> 
> * Long comments
>   
> 
> * Questions
>   
> 
> * “<3” as extra kudos
>   
> 
> * Reader-reader interaction
>   
> 
> * Horny comments
> 
> This author replies to comments.  
> If you don’t want a reply, for any reason (sometimes I feel shy when I’m reading and not up to starting a conversation, for example), feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond!  
> 


End file.
